Updated: Nov 5
Self love means is having high regard of oneself, taking care of yourself and making yourself happy mind and body. However, self love is something most of us struggle with when insecurity comes in. Nurturing self love can either be seen as an easy task for some but a very difficult one for others. From the way society has been for the past years, and with the rise of social media, standards have ben set in stone on what you should look like, eat, be or even think in this world and we get to forget to love ourselves by trying to force ourselves to be or do something we are not just to please society and of course social media. Meanwhile, loving ourselves the way we are should be our first goal no matter what. I do know that it is not an easy task, because I do also struggle with nurturing self love and I know what it means to feel insecure about yourself on many levels. But, one thing I have learned is the fact that if I don't start loving myself properly and accept the way I am I will never be able to succeed in this world because everything we do come from within us so if we are not in peace with ourselves how are we supposed to succeed in life or meet the person who will love us for us?
Nurturing self love comes not only by telling yourself positive words but also by being able to pull yourself back from things that make you feel less than a person or more insecure than before. For these reasons, I came up with a few starter points to help you/us nurture self love:
Tell yourself some affirmation words. Every morning I tell myself some affirmation words to help me boost my confidence and be able to get on my day. Being able to tell yourself some positive words which can be anything such as: you are going to be great today; you are a strong woman, you can do this, you are beautiful; your body is beautiful, your skin is beautiful; you are smart and so on... will help you create the confidence you need to have in your life. Repeat these words as much as you need to to help you feel confident enough to go on your day.
Practice self care. Of course, nurturing your self love always comes with practicing self care. Practice the self care which will make you feel happy (mind and body), do the things that will make your mind at ease, help you focus, help you feel like you love yourself and you are only here to take care of yourself. Self care is here for this reason, taking care of yourself.
Embrace and love the things that make you different. Nobody is perfect and we are not the same. We all have our own way of being & thinking which makes us unique individually. However, because of society standards we sometimes don't like what makes us different than others and we see those differences as flaws or things we shouldn't have. Well I am here to tell you, I get it but it is not true. You should embrace your uniqueness, this is what makes you you. You have been given those differences for a reason, embrace them, love them and use them as a weapon to make yourself more confident than ever.
It is okay to say "No" sometimes. Learning to say "no" is also a way to nurture self love. What I mean by that is the fact that sometimes, because of our nature of being too nice or wanting to be a people pleaser we end up being hurt by people using us for their own benefits. So, when the next person will come to you trying to use you and you know that deep down it will hurt you at the end, say "no" and move on. Don't think about how they might feel but think about how it will make you feel by knowing that you avoided some headaches or hurt you might have gotten if you did say yes. Saying "no" sometimes is also nurturing your self love because you are thinking about yourself first which you have the right to do it.
Be patient & kind to yourself. Sometimes, we tend to judge ourselves very harshly when things don't go our way. However, instead of doing that, you need to be able to accept the situation you are in, accept the fact that maybe this is not your time yet to be where you thought you should be, find out where things are going wrong and instead of hating yourself for that, try to find small solutions to help you get on to the next step. It takes patience and self kindness to be able to reach out whatever goals you have in life. So be kind to yourself.
Stop comparing yourself to others. This is one of the most difficult things to do, being able not to compare yourself to others and with again the rise of social media, it is twice as difficult. However, I am here to tell you you should try to stop doing it. First because, you shouldn't believe everything that you see, nobody is perfect, whatever somebody puts out their wins it doesn't they are having the best time of their lives or even if they do, don't compare it to your life. Second, we are all on a different journey, some might get it easily, some have to work really hard to get it so in whatever you are, always trust your journey and make sure to acknowledge the work you have been doing so far and be proud of it. Third, again NOBODY IS PERFECT!
Love the skin and body you are in. Social media is making us feel like we have to look a certain way. Well I am here to tell you, lets start loving yourself in the skin or body you are. We need to normalize the fact that not everybody can be skinny (that doesn't mean you are not healthy), not everybody has the same skin color so lets respect each other (especially women of color who have it hard just because they look different.) Let's love ourselves the way we are and embrace others for the way they are or look.
Surround yourself with positive people. Being able to nurture your self love also means you need to be able to surround with people who will encourage you to be the best of yourself and be proud of you.
Let go of any toxic relationships. Vey important one, nurturing yourself love also means you need to be able to protect your energy by letting go of people who are draining it.Your energy is everything so you cannot let toxic people destroying it and making you feel some type of way, because if your energy is not protected and positive how can you be able to love and nurture yourself? Let go of those persons no matter they come from or even the love you have for them if you know that they are raining you instead of elevating you. It is not worth it.