Updated: Jan 8
Have you ever compared yourself to others? Felt sometimes that the person in front of you might be better than you in some ways and it made you feel a bit insecure about yourself? I will take guess and say your answer is "yeah sis, of course!". I mean, I know we all have this insecurity as women that sometimes makes us not feel good about ourselves, but the worst thing is when we compare ourselves to others, then that's where things start to boil a bit. The thing is, when you compare yourself to the person next to you it could be based on may reasons such as, you might think the person looks better physically than you, or this person is successful and you wished you were like that person, this person can appear smarter and you think that this person is better than you because of it, and so many more. You got the gist of it. Having these feelings can really affect the way of viewing and accepting yourself. As an insecure woman that I am, I always had those feelings of comparing myself for so many years and throughout the years I was really having trouble accepting myself and the way I was. Trust me, it took me so much time and stress on my life for so many years, that it crippled me from being the best version of myself, you can't imagine!
The whole time, I was really struggling about the fact that I was (still am) an introvert person, very calm and the fact that I was not a skinny woman. Being an introvert for me made me as very calm and silent girl where it is not always I wanted to talk or being loud, being the center, talking all around, I was more of the other way around. Unfortunately, it was not always accepted by the people around me and it made me a bit uncomfortable about my own self because of being introvert meanwhile I was seeing my friends being very extrovert, being at the center and talking all the time with fire and love. For years, I was always comparing myself to them and was telling myself, "I wish I was like her, I wish I could be talking like her" and so many things. My other comparison was based on the fact that I hated my body, for me I did not have the normal chic body meanwhile my friend looks so sexy and fit, having a such a cute flat belly where my belly was definitely not flat and it was hard on me. I was creating all of these insecure feelings in my head and it really crippled me thinking that they were better than me. By the way, I am just sharing only a third of all of the comparisons I made in my life to other people. I know right? It is very hard when you get in your feelings because when you don't get to the point where you can overcome these feelings and feel confident about yourself, it can stop you from being the best version of yourself. Seriously, it is a very hard situation.
However, I can never tell you that I was able to overcome mine because I am very still working on it but I would let you in a small secret guys: STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!. This is what I told myself a while ago and really decide it to take a chance on it. The main thing I did is to force myself so accept the way I am. God did not make a mistake on me when he put me on earth so why will I be questioning his work of art? No I should not be doing this. Of course, it didn't happen over a day, it took time. But you know I am glad I was able to start this process of starting to love myself as the way I am. It is true that with society, social media and double standards, us women have three times trouble to be very confident about ourselves because society is always asking us to make excuses about the way we are and at the same time we have the obligation to prove ourselves to society. I mean, hellooo craziness!! Huh, can we have a simple break? So you see, with all of these negative effects of the society we do get to start feeling insecure and start to compare ourselves to the others who seem to "have it all" in some way or that is what they are showing to us.
But the thing is, I want to tell you guys that it is ok to have all of these insecure feelings, however, we need to accept the fact that we are unique in this world. We have been created with different mind, beauty, skin and body; and from the way you have been created you are Beautiful and Incredible in your own way. We need to understand also the fact.that each of us are destined to lead a different path. The friend you will see is getting married tomorrow meanwhile you are still single should not be an insecure feeling where you will envy her and compare yourself to her. Her path is different from yours, maybe you are not ready to be on a serious commitment yet (even if you might think that you are), or your future partner will be coming in a way where you will never have thought about. This one applies to all of the comparisons you make daily about you to another person because that person has this or is that and you might not be there yet. Your path is different, you are different and because you are different, your path will be exceptional in your own way. It is very important to understand our worth in this world and appreciate it. Instead, let's use the people around us who are succeeding or winning be a motivation for yourself and push you to be better, to work hard to get to the level where you dream to be and by doing all that by staying true to yourself, do not change for people, change for yourself, love yourself, start enjoying your own and personal talent, it doesn't need to be extra but it is your own thing. Your own thing you can use it as an advantage in your life and in everything you do. This is what should keep you going.
Stop comparing yourself to other people, they are NOT better than you not even for a second. We are all struggling in this life one way or another and even if you do not see it, they have struggles too but they do not just share them with others but you only see their happiness and success. Just to tell you that nobody is perfect, we are all imperfect people, we are all working on ourselves to be better in this world and that is the only thing we should be focusing on. The good, the hard work, having the will to go on no matter what and definitely taking care of your mental health. Your mental health is the first thing to take care of because if not you are going to struggle all the time unfortunately. Take care of your thoughts, your mind and spirit. Align them with your whole self and your goals, add God into the mix so he can guide you in your journey and love yourself. We are all beautiful and amazing the way we are, let's sink that in. Love, xoxo.